Ruins of Ephesus

This tiny fragment of marble (8cm) has a story to tell.

Our story takes place in Ephesus, located on the eastern Mediterranean coast in present day Turkey. Ephesus was a Greek city-state of classic antiquity, home to one of the seven wonders of the ancient world, namely, the Temple of Artemis, a many-breasted fertility goddess. It boasted the second largest library in the ancient world after Alexandria.

The façade of the ancient library still greets visitors today. As do the remains of the public baths across the street, featuring an outer courtyard latrine surrounded by marble benches, under which water ran to flush away the waste. Musicians are said to have performed on a platform under a colonnade in the centre of the courtyard to entertain the people as they went about their business, (so to speak).

You guessed it. This fragment was once part of that very toilet seat.

There’s more:

Also to be seen in Ephesus is the House of the Virgin Mary, both a Christian and Muslim shrine. It is believed by many of both faiths that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was taken to this small stone house by St. John and lived there until her Assumption into heaven.

This is clearly the official doctrine of the Catholic Church. Why else would the current Pope say, on his very first foreign trip, undertaken to Turkey, on November 29, 2008:

"From here in Ephesus, a city blessed by the presence of Mary Most Holy, who we know is loved and venerated also by Muslims, let us lift up to the Lord a special prayer for peace between peoples."

It is my contention that this fragment may well be a priceless holy relic.

After all, what can the Virgin have done with her time between the Ascension and her own Assumption? I suspect she must have availed herself of the wondrous library. And when nature called, she must have slipped across to the public toilet, where this fragment of marble, attached as it was to the rest of the seat at the time, almost certainly must have come into contact with the immaculate backside.

Ephesus dwindled and was eventually abandoned in the 15th century as its port silted up and its trade access failed.